A Selfless Wish
by NightStar28
Summary: When Inuyasha makes his wish on the jewel and is faced with the outcome, will he be able to live with himself?


I do not own Inuyasha. I simply borrow the world and cast to play from time to time.

* * *

As he held the jewel tightly in his hand, Inuyasha thought about what it was that he wanted more then anything else, and then he spoke the words he hoped would let him have it.

"I wish Kikyo was alive again."

The moment the words left his mouth the jewel flashed with a brilliant light, shining so brightly it filled the clearing and illuminated the sacred tree with various shades of pink. An instant later Inuyasha's keen ears twitched, picking up the sound of Kagome's voice as she cried out in pain.

Panic filled him, overriding any other thought, and Inuyasha raced through the trees to reach her. As he burst out of the forest into the open Inuyasha spotted Kagome on the ground. He called out her name while his guts twisted wrenchingly with fear. Wearing an expression of terrified anguish she turned her head to look at him, while her back arched up off the ground as pain drew every muscle in her body tight as a bow.

Horrified Inuyasha dropped to his knees by her side as a soft pink glow surrounded her.

"What's happening? Kagome tell me what's wrong?"

Unable to answer she merely looked back at him through tear glazed, and panic filled eyes.

Scooping Kagome up into his arms, Inuyasha started for Kaede's, but he had only managed a few steps when Kikyo appeared. Having forgotten all about her and his wish, her sudden arrival so surprised him that it caused the normally sure footed hanyou to stumble slightly and very nearly drop Kagome. Filled with a sudden anger at the priestess's untimely intrusion and in no mood to deal with her, Inuyasha growled a warning as he secured Kagome more tightly into his arms.

He was just bending his knees, poised to leap over Kikyo and continue to Kaede's, when Kagome let out a deafening, gut wrenching scream. Her voice reverberated with so much pain that it forced a whimper of fear from the hanyou that held her. A fear that only grew as her cry trailed off into silence and her body relaxed, going quiet and limp. Heart pounding painfully, Inuyasha looked down to stare in abject horror at her lax face and blank unseeing eyes. He strained his ears, searching for the fainted trace of sound, but in vain, he could no longer hear her heart beat.

_'No, no! NO!' _

"Kagome!" Inuyasha cried out as he shook her. "Wake up Kagome! Damn it Kagome don't you do this! Wake up! Please Kagome, don't leave me!"

When she didn't respond he shook her harder and screamed at her.

"You have to come back! You promised that you would never leave! Kagome, Kagome, KAGOME!!"

Choking on his grief Inuyasha curled around Kagome cuddling her body tightly within his own. Filled with anguish deeper and more painful than anything he had ever felt before he buried his face in her hair, breathed in her scent, and let his heart shatter.

When a hand lightly griped his arm, Inuyasha reacted instinctively growling fiercely and moving to attack. However, when he was faced with the reality of having to let go of Kagome in order to strike, he couldn't do it. Tightening his grip on her he looked for the enemy, for the thing he needed to kill to fix this, and in his grief he almost didn't recognize Kikyo. Letting out another dark and threatening growl, he warned her back.

"Inuyasha, what did you do?" She asked, as she lifted a hand to her chest feeling her heart beat once again.

Incapable of answering Inuyasha twisted away from her touch with a snarl, snapping his teeth at her savagely.

Kikyo realized as she looking into Inuyasha's eyes that for the moment, the only thing protecting her from him was the woman he held. Studying her dead reincarnation in the arms of her former love, Kikyo made a guess.

"You wished me back to life didn't you Inuyasha? Did you not understand that in order to truly live again I would need my entire soul, not just the small piece I had been in possession of?" She inquired in a calm voice.

Slowly, painfully her words penetrated the chaos of Inuyasha's mind, and he was flooded with a rage and self-loathing that was easily a hundred times more potent then anything he had ever felt for Naraku. A voice started chanting in his thoughts over and over.

_'I killed Kagome, I killed Kagome, I killed Kagome...' _

Kikyo watched as the emotions danced clearly through Inuyasha's eyes, with a curious detachment. "Why did you bring me back when you love her?" She asked.

Inuyasha was so lost in his guilt he could barely form the words but he managed to growl out. "Didn't...want...hell...with...you." Throwing back his head he howled. "Wanted Kagome!"

Abruptly the strength left Inuyasha's legs and he let them fold under him, unable to care anymore. On his knees he bent over Kagome, whispering words of love and pleas for forgiveness into her neck. Kikyo observed his pain with detached considering eyes, and then she broke her silence with a demand.

"Give me the jewel."

Inuyasha gave no sign that he had heard her; he merely clung to Kagome as his soul was devoured by the overwhelming guilt and loss that filled him. He would never be able to forgive himself for having caused her death, never.

He started to run his hands up and down her back, she was beginning to feel cool, and he had to keep her warm. If she got too cold she might get sick, and he didn't want that to happen. Inuyasha rocked back and forth while his mind fragmented, knowing that his wish had killed Kagome proving to be too much for him to bear.

Kikyo gave a sigh as she moved closer, and with hesitant hands she searched Inuyasha's robes until she located the jewel. Quickly stepping back out of the way she watched Inuyasha to gauge his reaction, but she need not have bothered. He was no longer aware of her presence; his entire world had now become the girl in his arms. Kikyo studied the jewel and gave a satisfied nod when she saw that it had not been purified. Because Inuyasha had made his wish in order to fulfill his own desires the stone still held it's full power.

Smiling ever so slightly Kikyo turned away from the pitiful Half demon and his love. Setting out at a brisk walk, she silently considered just how to best use the power of the Shikon jewel. Not long after she decided and formed the wish in her mind Kikyo arrived at a place that had been a favorite of hers long, long ago. It was simply a quiet place by the river where she had often gone to sit and watch the sunlight dance across the water, and enjoy the way the wind made the leaves dance in the treetops. Smiling Kikyo took a moment to enjoy those small pleasures once again then she griped the jewel tightly and wished with all her heart.

Eyes squeezed tightly shut in order to prevent his tears from falling, Inuyasha didn't see the bright light engulf Kagome. The first pulse of her heart however made his head snap up with such force and speed that he saw stars. Inuyasha stared intently into Kagome's face from mere inches away. Stunned and disbelieving he listened as her heart found and settled into a strong healthy rhythm. He even felt her breath fan across his face, and still he could not believe what he was seeing. Then Kagome winced in discomfort and started to peel open her eyes.

_'What is squeezing me so tightly?'_ was her first thought.

When Kagome managed to force her eyes open, the only thing she could see were Inuyasha's own looking back at her. His golden gaze was so filled with emotion it frightened her. Never before had he seemed so fragile, as if some wrong move on her part could break him. Managing to free one hand she lifted it to his face, cupping his cheek into her palm.

"What's wrong Inuyasha? Was I sick? I can't remember anything. Are you OK?"

A deep shuttering breath escaped Inuyasha causing his entire body to shake but he forced out a faintly whispered question.

"You're alive?"

Kagome's face scrunched up in confusion. "Of course I am. See me here talking, breathing, heart pumping away, are you ok?" She asked concerned about Inuyasha, and confused, what was going on?

Instead of answering Inuyasha closed the distance between them, claiming Kagome's lips in a desperate kiss. Stunned Kagome froze for a moment but soon melted into his arms, kissing him back with a long suppressed hunger.

Inuyasha drank her in. Kagome was alive, nothing else mattered. Releasing her lips Inuyasha moved to place worshipful kisses along her neck, drawing his lips reverently over the point that pulsed in time with her heart.

Lost in a storm of pleasure, Kagome floated blissfully, she had only ever dreamed of Inuyasha touching her like this, and the reality was so much better. Then she realized Inuyasha was speaking, faintly she heard him whispering into her neck. Straining her ears she could just barely make out the words, and wondered if she was hearing right.

"I'm so sorry... so sorry...I love you... please forgive me... I'm sorry... I love you.. I love you... I love you..."

Torn, Kagome wondered what to do, half of her longed to stop thinking and simply enjoy Inuyasha's touch, the other half wanted to stop him and find out what was going on. Both halves were more than a little angry with the other one.

Her choice was made when Inuyasha let out a pained whimper and a soft sob; she had to know what was wrong. Pushing back as far as she was able to in Inuyasha's tight embrace, she looked into his eyes, and demanded the truth.

"Inuyasha, you have to tell me what happened." She touched his face tenderly, trailing her fingers across his skin. "Please I need to know."

Inuyasha looked away, he could no longer meet her gaze, but he wasn't fast enough to prevent Kagome from seeing his eyes fill with pain and self-loathing.

"I screwed up!" He confessed in a loud burst, before falling silent again.

Kagome wanted to growl in frustration when he said no more, but she waited, letting him continue at his own pace.

Gulping, Inuyasha looked anywhere else other then at Kagome, the smell of his own fear was thick in his nose. Haltingly he chocked out the truth.

"I made a bad wish. I wished Kikyo back to life."

Kagome let out a pained gasp and Inuyasha rushed on, needing her to understand before she sat him and stormed off. "I didn't want to go to hell with her! I though that if I gave her back her life I'd have repaid my debt to her and then I would be free, to be with... you."

Inuyasha shuttered, and dropped his head so low his chin was resting against his chest. "It worked, but only by taking your life and soul to revive her. I... I.. killed you." He confessed, his voice breaking under the weight of his guilt.

Taking a deep breath Kagome lifted her hands to Inuyasha's head. Digging her fingers into his hair she clenched onto handfuls of the silky stuff and tugged his face up to look at hers.

Inuyasha let out a fearful whimper. No demon or weapon had the power to frighten him as much as the mere thought of Kagome looking at him with hatred in her eyes did. When his gaze finally lifted to her face a sob escaped from his lips, and his eyes grew shinny with tears.

Her expression was filled with nothing but love and understanding. She was even smiling at him, that bright cheerful, wonderful, Kagome smile.

"You didn't do anything wrong Inuyasha. It would never have occurred to me that wishing Kikyo back would end my life. I know you would never do anything you thought might hurt me, so there is nothing you have to be sorry about. But if you need me to say the words…" Kagome loosened her grip on his hair, moving her hands through it in a caress. "I forgive you completely Inuyasha, and I love you to."

The tears in Inuyasha's eyes finally spilled over to slide down his face. "You don't hate me?" He asked in a stunned voice.

"No Inuyasha I could NEVER hate you. I love you with all my heart and soul, there is no part of me left that can hate you."

With a groan Inuyasha reclaimed her lips, stealing the breath from her lungs, only to pull back suddenly and say. "I love you Kagome. I want a life with you and only you. If you're willing I want you to be my mate. I want forever with Ka-go-me."

Laughing Kagome planted a joyful kiss on Inuyasha's, on HER Inuyasha's mouth as she squealed out her agreement.

After a long moment filled with kisses, touches and words of love, Inuyasha pulled back to stare at Kagome, wanting to imprint the way she was looking back at him onto his heart.

Just then a farmer appeared over the crest of the hill and saw them. Wide eyed he stammered out his apology and scrambled backwards towards the village.

The interruption was enough to make Inuyasha remember that they were sitting in the middle of the main trail into the village and anyone could come upon them at any moment. Signing heavily he forced himself to let go of Kagome and climb to his feet, then he held out his hand to her.

The moment Kagome placed her hand in his, Inuyasha lifted her up and pulled her flush against his body. He lowered his head to claim just one more kiss before they set out for the village. One kiss lead to two and then three, until laughing Kagome started walking backwards tugging Inuyasha along with her. She led him off the trail and into the woods until Inuyasha finally caught on and scooped her up into his arms before bounding into the forest.

Laying Kagome down on the soft grass that grew around base of the sacred tree, Inuyasha silently thanked whatever power it was that led her into his life. Directly above them was the scar left by the spelled arrow that had held him in sleep for 50 years, waiting for her to find her way to him.

"Are you sure Kagome? I know that this is what I want, I have known for a long time now, but once we do this there is no going back, you would be bound to me, a half demon with bad judgment, forever." He asked in a guardedly hopeful tone.

Kagome stared up into Inuyasha's earnest face, and felt that last tiny voice of doubt fall silent. Giving him a beautiful smile, Kagome reached up and pulled him down to lie against her.

"I have never been more sure of anything in my life, and point of fact, I think you have great judgment. After all you were clever enough to choose me!" She quipped just before pressing her lips to his in a kiss that expressed all of her love and desire.

It was not until the following day that they found the Shikon Jewel, completely purified, and realized what Kikyo had done. Kagome was the one who figured it out, though not through any form of deduction. She had picked up the stone, and simply felt it. Kagome and Inuyasha had then both offered her their wholehearted thanks and offered their blessings on her journey to the next world.

One year later, almost to the day Inuyasha and Kagome welcomed their first child into the world. A beautiful girl, with her mother face and black hair, her father's eyes and her own tiny black version of his ears, she was quite the darling.

Wrapped in Inuyasha's arms Kagome cradled the tiny little girl to her chest while an incredible feeling of awe filled her, turning she looked up at her mate and husband with glowing eyes. He was smiling brightly with a dazed look on his face but when he felt Kagome's gaze he turned to her. Seeing her soft expression he bent automatically to place a kiss on her lips, something he now did as often as he could. Sighing contentedly he cuddled Kagome more tightly against his chest and lifted a hand to gently run a fingertip along his new loves cheek.

"I love you little Kikyo, just as much as I love your mother. I swear I will always keep you safe and happy." He vowed solemnly.

Kagome let out a delighted laugh. "I never though I would be able to hear you say that you loved Kikyo and not be jealous. It's funny how life twists sometimes, but I wouldn't change a single thing. This twisted path I have walked lead me to you Inuyasha, and there is nothing in my life that has brought me more joy then you."

Looking down again Kagome gazed at her daughter. "Look at her, is she not the most perfect thing you ever saw?"

Sighing blissfully Kagome rubbed her head against his strong shoulder and felt sleep start to pull at her. She had after all, had a very long day. Just before slumber claimed her she heard him whisper against her ear. "I have seen one woman who is her equal and lucky me, I get to have you both."

While Kagome slept Inuyasha held her and thought about all that had happened to lead him to this point. Grateful, he sent up a silent prayer, thanking fate for giving him Kagome, and Kikyo for letting him go. Happy beyond anything he could have ever dreamed he secured his two loves in his arms and drifted off to sleep.

All thanks to A Selfless Wish. 


End file.
